In a study from the Netherlands, researchers went right to the experts -- the seniors living among them -- to find out what it takes to grow old gracefully, a concept the researchers call successful aging. The result is not a cookbook recipe, but rather, a list of clues on how to make the most of your golden years -- especially if your health doesn't glitter the way it once did.

Old age may set some new limits on what older people can do. But character and attitude can be very helpful in overcoming these limitations, says investigator Margaret von Faber. Nurturing social contacts throughout life also is key to staying happy, but the quality of social contacts is more important than the quantity of them, she writes.

Von Faber is a researcher in Gerontology and Geriatrics at Leiden University Medical Center in the Netherlands and the Division of Medical Anthropology at the University of Amsterdam. Her study appears this month in the Archives of Internal Medicine.

In the study, nearly 600 men and women over age 85 were interviewed. All were from the Netherlands. They had various levels of cognitive decline, health problems, or living situations. Among the group, 66% were women; more than half were widowed; and 18% were in nursing homes -- much like others their age across the Netherlands.

Just 10% of the study group -- 58 people -- described themselves as content with their lives and successfully aged, she says.

The life experts had a lot to say. Here are some of the lessons learned:

• Develop a practical sense of what it means to be healthy at an older age.

Most elderly people talked about health at their age as having maintained basic functions, like vision, hearing, and mobility. "They also spoke of absence of life-threatening disease, such as cancer," she writes. "They accepted their limitations and said acceptance and adaptation are essential in maintaining a feeling of well-being. Those who enjoyed good health said they had been lucky and did not regard their health as a personal success."

One example is a friendly man who says he lives on his own. He uses a wheelchair after having had a stroke, nearly 24 years ago. "It takes him all morning to put clean sheets on his bed," von Faber notes, "But he is proud to be able to do so without assistance."

• Continue to socialize. The relationships you build will help you to prevent being isolated or depressed in the future.

Social contacts helped these people to cope and to avoid loneliness. Social activities might have decreased because of physical dysfunction, but social contacts continued to be important and affected their self-esteem.

One couple, the van der Meer's, found a way to continue to make social calls. Marian has trouble walking, but she can still take the initiative and call her friends, relatives, and acquaintances in their neighborhood. Her husband can accompany her on visits and help her get from place to place.

But people need more than social calls to stay happy in the long run. Klaas and Vera Philipsen are well-to-do, live in a beautiful house, and have many social contacts. When Mr. Philipsen got into an argument with his daughter, his wife took his side. Now she has lost all contact with her daughter, and von Faber reports that since then, "All her successes in life are overshadowed by this failure."

• Don't let fear and depression make you feel trapped in your old age.

Most people "feared cognitive decline because dementia is perceived as losing one's personality," she writes. "They felt lucky to have good cognitive functioning, and some tried to invest in maintaining this level by memory-training activities. Some were depressed because they had lost loved ones; other sad feelings were linked to their social problems." In von Faber's group, 17% had severe cognitive impairment; 24% suffered from depression.

Elizabeth Kooistra, for example, lost her husband three years ago. "She feels depressed, not only because of her pain and loss of her loved ones, but most of all because she cannot tell others what is on her mind. Mrs. Kooistra wants emotional support and sympathy from family and peers, but they show little understanding for her depressed mood."

• Focus on what you still can do -- and what you still have

The ability to adjust to circumstances, counting one's blessings (like social contacts), and focusing on gains rather than losses -- that's what von Faber learned was crucial to the people who were interviewed. Having religious and cultural values to fall back on, especially when pondering earlier life experiences or even life after death, can help people gain contentment.

She points to Frans and Johanna van Lijn, who had been married for nearly 62 years. But when they moved from their house to a home for the elderly, Mrs. van Lijn died after a few months. Mr. van Lijn had to move again, this time to a single room. Despite these major changes and several increasing health complaints of his own, he still reports a strong feeling of well-being.

"He is grateful to God for the happy years he shared with his wife and is expecting to meet her again," the investigator reports.

Remember -- Those who were happiest still had people in their lives whom they liked (and they were OK with themselves, too.)

The few in the study group who had successfully aged -- who functioned optimally and had a high sense of well-being -- regarded social contacts as being most important. Successful aging doesn't mean there was no sense of loss in these people's lives, but rather, whether it be a loss in personal health or in human connections, those who could stay happy were the ones who could accept what they had and keep right on living.